Tag Archive: Recreation


British tourists have left the residents of one charming Austrian village effing and blinding by constantly stealing the signs for their oddly named village.

While British visitors are finding it hilarious, the residents of Fucking are failing to see the funny side.

Only one kind of criminal stalks the sleepy 32-house village near Salzburg on the German border – cheeky British tourists armed with a sense of humor and a screwdriver.

But the local authorities are hitting back with the signs now set in concrete, police chief Kommandant Schmidtberger is on the lookout.

“We will not stand for the Fucking signs being removed,” the officer said.

“It may be very amusing for you British, but Fucking is simply Fucking to us. What is this big Fucking joke? It is puerile.”

Local tourist guide Andreas Behmueller said it was only the British that had a fixation with Fucking.

“The Germans all want to see the Mozart house in Salzburg,” he explained. “Every American seems to care only about ‘The Sound of Music‘ (the 1965 film shot around Salzburg.) The occasional Japanese wants to see Hilter‘s birthplace in Braunau.”

“But for the British, it’s all about Fucking.”

Guesthouse manager Augustina Lindelbauer described the village’s breathtaking lakes, forests and vistas. “Yet still there is this obsession with Fucking,” she said. “Just this morning I had to tell an English lady that there were no Fucking postcards.”

 

We don’t know how severe the stolen sign problem there really is, but Austria is indeed home to a town called ‘Fucking’ (48′ 03″N 13′ 51″E). Pronounced “fooking,” the little hamlet of Fucking is named after the man who founded the village in the 6th century. His name? Focko.

This sign carries the hilarity even further: “Bitte – nicht so schnell!” is German for “Please – not so fast!” (Snopes.com)

Image

English tourists can’t resist a photo with an Austrian road sign.

Fucking, Austria — It’s safe to say that Lord Focko had no idea the village named after him would one day become a sanctuary for English-speaking sex tourists.

Since Focko’s death some 600 years ago, the village’s name has gone through various incarnations, from Fukching to Fugkhing, until settling in its current, widely popular spelling, Fucking.

“It is pronounced fooking,” insists the woman at the area information center in the Austrian town of Braunau am Inn. Other than that, she doesn’t have any information on the village, aside from a piece of firm, if mildly annoyed advice: “There is nothing to do in Fucking. There isn’t even a hotel.”

Turns out she is wrong on both counts. But not terribly wrong.

Only three types of tourists apparently venture to this area: those who want to take in the beautiful Alpine scenery, those who want to see Adolf Hitler’s birthplace in Braunau, and those who want to visit Fucking, which tend to be the same sort of people interested in climbing the nearby mountain called Wank.

According to “Fucking Travel Tips” on the website Virtual Tourist, the number one thing to do in Fucking is “seeing the road signs,” which summarizes the sightseeing potential of the village quite precisely. But the lack of excitement hasn’t stopped hordes of primarily young British tourists from making a pilgrimage to pay their respects to Lord Focko each year.

Summertime is the prime season for sex tourists to visit and needle local conservative sensibilities by taking pictures of themselves in front of the Fucking road sign, often in various degrees of nudity or even during sexual intercourse.

The worst offenders steal the road sign as a souvenir. Fifteen have gone missing in a year. Producing new ones at approximately $500 a piece has been a significant budget burden for the village of 104 people.

According to the Fucking mayor, Franz Meindl, the village has made road signs more theft-resistant by fitting them in concrete. It has also installed CCTV cameras — although they are nowhere to be seen — to stop tourists from stealing the signs. But nothing seems to work.

To be sure, the German and Austrian countrysides are filled with town names that have entertained English-speakers for decades. Since low-cost airlines have provided an affordable way to travel to Europe’s remote corners, the towns have become — to the utter horror of the locals — popular tourist destinations.

Lothar Lerch, who writes frequently about Fucking for Virtual Tourist, recommends a road trip from Kissing, Germany to Fucking, Austria. A direct route from Kissing to Fucking takes just over two hours. A suggested scenic route includes stops in Petting or Tittmoning. A detour through Condom, let alone Wedding, takes much longer.

Lerch documented his trip by taking numerous pictures of the road signs. He was surprised by the hostile reaction of locals.

“We thought that the Fucking locals are used to that but suddenly an elderly guy stopped his car just aside of us while we took some of these pics and he asked us in an unfriendly voice what we are going to do here because just recently again one of the road signs was stolen,” wrote Lerch.

For those undeterred by grumpy locals, Lerch’s recommended packing list includes “a lamp, a set of screwdrivers and wrenches (preferentially 17mm and 19mm) and a cordless angle grinder,” as well as a suggestion to not come alone because somebody apparently always needs to “watch out for the dogs.”

The village of Fucking, all three dozens houses of it, is quaint, but fiercely determined not to cater to tourists who are there because of the infamous road signs. There are no souvenir shops selling Fucking postcards and the last person in the village who tried to sell I (heart) Fucking T-shirts was forced by fellow villagers to stop capitalizing on good ‘ole Fooking.

The only place in town that legitimately cashes in on Fucking’s fame is a bed and breakfast called Gasthof Lindlbauer. Although it sits a few hundred feet behind the road sign marking the end of Fucking, it provides sex tourists with a handful of pleasant rooms decorated, somewhat discouragingly, with a sculpture of a crucified Jesus. But for those unwilling to fornicate outside by the Fucking sign, the guesthouse does provide a legal alternative.

The puerile humor, fortunately, doesn’t end there.

Jo Lindlbauer, a self-described “great cooker” and a semi-professional artist, works at the guesthouse and pours what he calls a “good Fucking beer.”

It is only a matter of time until the restaurant starts serving the new, controversial brew called “Fucking Hell,” a type of pale lager, or “hell” in German. The European Patent Office first rejected the trademark, but was forced to approve it earlier this year after a German brewery claimed that Fucking Hell just means “lager from the village of Fucking.”

Lindlbauer said the tourists they get are typically disappointed because they have great expectations for Fucking and all they find is a boring little village full of farmers.

“Sometimes, I think somebody should open up a nightclub or swingers club in Fucking,” he said.

In that rebel spirit, Lindlbauer has a studio filled with his own erotic-imagery paintings and portraits of pop stars that he sometimes sells to souvenir-starved tourists. On the wall, he spray-painted a logo of the cigarette company Lucky Strikes, with the letters switched up to read “Fucky Likes.” His paintings go from about $100 for a small rendition of a naked playmate to about $1,000 for a portrait of the artist formerly known as Prince.

“This might be the only Fucking village in the world,” he said proudly and as far as he knows, he is the only Fucking artist. Although many an artist would kill to have his address, Lindlbauer hopes to leave Fucking behind one day and move to California.

1) Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel
after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.
2) A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the
face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off
each other’s head.
3) A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed
its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the
job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film’s depiction of gory
industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor
injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted,
and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a
chair while watching the film.
4) The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons,
setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
5) A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the
time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus
and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.

Most Fingers And Toes

 

Count’em up. This young man born with 34 fingers and toes set a Guinness World Record for most digits.

Akshat Saxena had seven fingers on each hand and 10 toes on each foot when he was born in India in 2010., a Guinness spokeswoman told The Huffington Post.

“I was so happy to see my baby as it was our first child,” his mother Amrita Saxena told NDTV. “But later, when I saw his fingers, I was shocked and surprised,”

Doctors recently amputated the excess appendages in a series of surgeries and now Saxena has the typical five digits per limb, the Guinness spokeswoman said.

This prodigious polydactyl wasn’t born with thumbs, but doctors planned to create them with pieces of the extra figners, The Hindustan Times reported.

Christ the Redeemer statue

Standing atop Brazil‘s iconic Christ the Redeemer statue in January 1999, stuntman ‘Fearless Felix‘ Baumgartner braced himself for what was to be the world’s lowest BASE jump at 29 metres (95 feet). When he stepped off the edge, split seconds would extend as Rio de Janeiro opened up before his eyes. Those who make jumps that fall into the highest category may win more plaudits as well as freefall time, but it’s the lower jumps that are more dangerous because there is so little time for the parachute to open. (Link)

Police and Fire

Argument leads to stabbing and arrest

A man in his early 50s was reported in serious condition after suffering multiple stab wounds Monday following an argument at Queen’s Surf in Waikiki.

The man, with no local address, was stabbed at about 5:45 p.m. by a homeless man in his late 30s who also has no local address, police said. He was taken by ambulance to the Queen’s Medical Center.

Police arrested a suspect several minutes after the attack.

In addition to being held pending further investigation, the alleged assailant also was arrested on suspicion of three charges of contempt of court stemming from prior incidents, police said.

Kalama Valley fire prompts evacuations

A brush fire forced the evacuation of several homes in Kalama Valley on Monday as strong winds gave firefighters difficulty confining the blaze near the Hawaii Kai Golf Course.

The brush fire burned about five to seven acres near Mokuhano Street and Waikapu Loop before being contained a little more than an hour after firefighters received the call at 2:28 p.m.

Fire spokesman Terry Seelig said four or five homes along Waikapu Loop were evacuated briefly.

A helicopter and 45 firefighters were used to contain the blaze.

Seelig said neighbors saw young kids on bikes near the blaze but were not sure whether they were responsible for it. He said fire officials were unable to find the origin of the blaze.

Visitor injured on Kalawahine Trail hike

A tourist in her 60s had to be airlifted to safety Monday morning by the Honolulu Fire Department‘s helicopter when she injured her leg while hiking on the Kalawahine Trail to Pauoa Flats.

Firefighters were dispatched at 10:15 a.m. when the tourist slipped while hiking with a commercial tour group, Capt. Terry Seelig, Fire Department spokesman, said.

Rescuers reached the group at 10:45 a.m. The woman and her husband were airlifted by helicopter to Manoa District Park by 11:10 a.m.

The woman was taken to a local hospital to be treated for her injuries, which Seelig said were “non-life-threatening.”

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