Before you read this epic Craigslist post, be advised that this camping trip isn’t a sex thing. Sure, it involves men going off into the woods to jerk off as a group next to a campfire, but just to reiterate, NOT A SEX THING, BRO.

Manhood Camping

Date: 2011-05-08, 7:35PM PDT

Manhood Camping Firequest. Lookin’ for a 100% for real bros to share/experience manhood in all its glory. This is for real, I don’t want to waste my time or yours. 100% JO and manhood, no sugar added. I AM NOT GAY. Don’t even think this is a sex thing, it’s all about manhood.

Looking for bros to head into the woods and bond by fire, experience life as men once lived it, JO circle, and fire/vision quests.

THIS IS NOT A SEX THING.

Gonna need some basic things/skills, I don’t want to be slowed down by fools:

- must be in reasonable shape, if you get winded walking then stay home
Ed Hardy camping gear, it’s really good gear and it’s awesome
– desire to be a man among men
– not afraid to wield a blade
– crystal, I’m not sharing mine
– must be able to make a fire
– gloves
– a knowledge of native vegetation (knowledge of psychotropic fungus a plus)
– knowledge of modern music
– protective/splash resistant eye wear
– 5 – 10 of those clip things that rock climbers use

We are gonna need a mobile music device, ipod or something. I’m bringing the music for the firequests and visionquests, Nickleback’s The Long Road. I only have it on CD, so I’ll have my discman as a last resort, an ipod would be nicer. Just sayin’.

Dont’ want to see”

- bad attitudes
– gay/homoerotic behavior, this is a manhood thing. I AM NOT GAY.
cock rings, can’t keep it up w/o help, you aren’t gonna make it on this quest
– firearms, there’s gonna be enough guns going off and spent shells to pick up
– the nerds/dorks/lames/and anyone less than 100% into manhood.

If you are serious, then I promise you this will be the trip of your life. It will change the way you think. I’m serious, and I AM NOT GAY. To see a group of bros being men, a JO circle by a camp fire. The charge/energy in the air. Crystals get jacked, no lie. You will slip into a different frame of mind, you will feel electric.

Last outing, we had a group that was so charged we attracted bears. It was no deal, nature knew man was in the forest, the crystals gave us the confidence to own those bears. I saw it, I was there.

100% SERIOUS, NO FAKERS

Location: Aqua Caliente
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Image via Muriel Lasure/Shutterstock.